Why good managers fail parental leave, and what it costs companies

Most managers don’t fail parental leave because they don’t care.

They fail because they rely on care.

In a recent conversation on the Human Factor podcast with Yaniro, I shared a story that still doesn’t sit comfortably with me.

A team member came back from maternity leave.

I did what I believed a good manager should do:

• I checked in regularly

• I created space

• I reduced pressure

A few weeks later, she told me:

“This was the hardest month of my career.”

At the same time, Alexis (founder at Yaniro) shared a similar story.

He told a returning employee:

“Take your time. No pressure.”

Her feedback?

“That’s kind… but it doesn’t help me.”

Two different managers.
Same intention.
Same outcome.

The real problem: empathy without structure

Most companies approach parental leave like this:

• Be supportive

• Be flexible

• Trust the manager

But here’s what actually happens operationally:

No structured handover → work gets fragmented
No clear ownership → decisions slow down
No defined return plan → expectations stay unclear

The result isn’t less pressure.

It’s ambiguity.

And ambiguity is what creates stress, underperformance, and disengagement.

A predictable event… treated like an exception

Parental leave is one of the most predictable events in a company.

You have months to prepare.

And yet, in most organizations, it still looks like:

• One HR email

• A few informal conversations

• A manager figuring it out alone

From the outside, everything looks “handled.”

From the inside, it’s mostly improvisation.

Where it actually breaks: before, during, after

What emerged clearly from the podcast, and from dozens of conversations with managers and employees, is that the failure is rarely in one moment.

It’s cumulative.

1. Before the leave: unclear coverage

In many cases, there is no real decision on:

• What work continues vs. stops

• Who owns what

• What success looks like during the absence

Instead, teams “absorb” the work.

Which leads to:

• hidden overload

• slower execution

• diluted accountability

2. During the leave: loss of continuity

Without a defined structure:

• information gets lost

• priorities shift without visibility

• re-entry becomes harder

Even when intentions are good, the system doesn’t preserve continuity.

3. Return: the most underestimated risk

This is where most managers believe empathy is enough.

It isn’t.

From my own experience managing Ines, who I worked closely with during two maternity leaves, this is where I got it wrong.

I focused on:

• flexibility

• emotional support

• giving space

What I didn’t provide was:

• a clear ramp-up plan

• defined expectations

• structured ownership

The result?

She came back motivated, but into ambiguity.

And ambiguity is exhausting.

What makes this expensive (but invisible)

When parental leave is poorly structured, the cost doesn’t show up where you expect.

It’s not just the absence.

It’s the ripple effects:

• Delayed projects

• Slower decision-making

• Team overload

• Manager bandwidth drain

• And, most critically: attrition after return

In our analysis, this can reach up to €85k per leave.

Not because of the leave itself.

But because of how it’s managed.

The uncomfortable truth

The managers who “fail” these situations are often the best ones.

They care.
They invest.
They try to do the right thing.

But they are missing a system.

What actually changes outcomes

The difference between a difficult return and a successful one is not personality.

It’s structure.

The companies that get this right don’t rely on improvisation.

They design the transition:

• Before: clear coverage + career conversation

• During: defined communication preferences

• Return: structured ramp-up with milestones

Not to reduce humanity.

But to support it.

A different way to think about parental leave

Most organizations still treat parental leave as:

→ an HR topic
→ a compliance moment
→ a temporary disruption

But in reality, it’s something else entirely:

→ a continuity test
→ a performance risk
→ a pipeline moment

A question worth asking

Think about the last parental leave in your team.

Not the leave itself.

The return.

• Was there a clear ramp-up plan?

• Were expectations explicit?

• Did performance recover, or stall?

• What happened 6 months later?

If the answer isn’t clear,

the issue isn’t parental leave.

It’s visibility.

Final thought

Good intentions don’t create good outcomes.

Systems do.

And parental leave is one of the clearest places where that gap shows.

If you want to go deeper, I shared more of these learnings in my conversation with Yaniro (first podcast I ever recorded in French!) .